Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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