final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I think i got beer on your cat.
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