we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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