I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Randomize
