cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
