To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
This is my gift to your gina
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
