If i come over, it means nothing
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
