We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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