my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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