I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
