I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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