Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
