well you can't waste a boner
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
