oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
God, I missed his penis.
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