I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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