I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
