i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
