We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Randomize
