I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
