No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
