Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
