I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
