a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
