My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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