brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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