her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
