tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
