Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
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