Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
