whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Success! We fucked roommates!
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