just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
