whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
