I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Everclear isn't food dammit
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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