No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
