i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
