And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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