Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
