just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
