Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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