watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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