My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
