Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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