The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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