I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
