Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
