Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
