Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Don't make out with my wife yet
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I think people are normalizing furries
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
