now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
