he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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