Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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