the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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