I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He? As in you personified your dick?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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