One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
