Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
