While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
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Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
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I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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