it's like heaven, but drunker
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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