ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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