u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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