ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
