rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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